Binge Eating Dietitian Podcast

Help, I binge on my housemates food! And other challenges when you live with others.

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Ever felt the tension in the air after secretly bingeing on your housemate's food again? Or the sting of a well-intentioned, yet hurtful remark to "just eat healthier"? We tread these sensitive waters in this episode, unveiling the realities of living with binge eating disorder while sharing a space with others. We're here to guide you through these tricky dynamics, offering valuable wisdom on how to manage the challenges that pop up, and how to keep your relationships intact.

Also, a personal update from me, your host! As some of you may know, I'm currently pursuing a doctorate in binge eating - a challenging but rewarding journey. Although it's demanding a fair chunk of my time, I'm committed to staying connected with you all. That's why I'd love for you to join our mailing list. Not only will you receive timely updates on my academic pursuit, but you'll also gain access to a free checklist designed to help you through a binge-free week. Plus, we're revisiting some golden oldies - past podcast episodes brimming with insight on binge eating. Just a heads up, while we strive to provide informative and educational content, always remember to consult a professional for medical advice. Let's journey this together!

Thank you for listening to the Binge Eating Dietitian Podcast! As well as over 130 episodes, what else do I have in store for you?

  • Grab my free CHECKLIST for a binge-free week here.
  • Join me for a free WEBINAR on What Is Really Keeping You Stuck in Binge Eating here.
  • Come say hi over on INSTAGRAM @binge.eating.dietitian

Take care of yourself, Jo x

Speaker 1:

Hey, welcome back to another episode of the binge eating dietitian. I am Jo. I'm a registered dietitian and certified intuitive eating counsellor, and I'm here to smash the taboo of binge eating. I hope you are having a good day so far. Thank you for joining me for another episode.

Speaker 1:

Today is one that I guess I don't see talked about that often and I'm not that surprised. It's very. I guess it's another complexity to this whole taboo of binge eating. Today I want to talk about some of the common challenges that you might face when you struggle with binge eating and you live with other people, and no matter what your living situation is, I really think you will benefit from the tips in today's podcast. So you could be living, say, with housemates. You could be living with your parents, maybe some siblings. You could be living with your own family, so, say, husband or wife or partner or boyfriend, girlfriend, and maybe with some kids as well. So, no matter what your living situation is, you are bound to come across problems when you're struggling with binge eating. Before I get into it, as always, I would love to hear your story, so please do give me a DM on Instagram I'm at bingeeatingditition and if you could take the time to rate and review this podcast, or the podcast in general, on iTunes. I would be so, so grateful. Thank you in advance. All right, let's get cracking. So I think we need to call a spade a spade here.

Speaker 1:

From the point of view of your disordered eating, when you struggle with binge eating, living with other people can be a total nuisance. Binge eating thrives off being alone. It thrives in isolation, and with binge eating, not only does it want you to be alone during the binge itself, it wants you to also isolate yourself afterwards while you wallow in the guilt and the shame of what you think that you have done. Any disordered behaviors like binge eating want you to be isolated. It wants you to have one friend, and one friend only. You're disordered eating and, to be honest, I think if eating disorders such as binge eating thrive off isolation and being alone, then living with someone should surely help to reduce binges and get you out of your disordered eating. Right, you would think so, but that's not always the case.

Speaker 1:

Today, I'm going to highlight some common issues that people who struggle with binge eating face when they live with other people, and some tips for how to manage them. My goal of sharing these tips with you is to recognize that living with someone isn't always easy with an eating disorder, and it's important that these common issues are normalized. It's okay if you have experienced one of these issues or all of them. And lastly, one reason why I'm sharing these tips with you is I want you to overcome your struggles with binge eating, but without having to jeopardize your closest relationships, the people that you live with.

Speaker 1:

The first common issue is that you binge on your housemate's food and of course, that doesn't mean that they're officially your housemate. It could be your loved one, your family, your mom, your dad, your children, even let's start off by normalizing this problem. If you live with other people, you probably have been on their food at one time or another. I know you never intend to do it. You probably aren't even consciously aware that you are doing it when it happens, when you're staring into your fridge and you have that urge to binge if you see your housemate's food staring back at you, your disordered eating doesn't care whose food that is. It doesn't care that this may lead to some potential problems with your housemate down the line.

Speaker 1:

In fact, you may be more drawn to binge on your housemate's food for a few reasons. Firstly, the very fact that it's not yours and it's somebody else's can make it more forbidden, more elusive and just more desirable, because, remember, we all want what we can't have. This is especially the case if the foods that your housemate has are ones that you deem to be off limits or your forbidden foods, and your housemate just so happens to have stocks of them. But before you go and berate yourself and beat yourself up for eating somebody else's food, let's clarify one thing Eating housemate's food is not something that's only done by people who binge eat.

Speaker 1:

People steal each other's food out of the fridge or out of the press all of the time. So from your housemate's point of view, if you're worried about how they are perceiving the situation, just because you're taking their food doesn't automatically mean that they know about your disordered eating or your binge eating. They might just think that you have a bad habit of taking their food. So keep in that in mind, I wonder would it be possible for you to sit down with your housemate and tell them hey, I know I've been taking your food lately and I am so sorry about that. It's something a little out of my control and I'm really struggling with disordered eating. Right now, of course, in addition to telling your housemate, you could do your best to replace whatever food that you have eaten and really do make it clear to them that this is something that is outside of your control and that you are working on, and that you wish that it wasn't the case, that you did always take their food. Remember, please don't beat yourself up People do take each other's food from the fridge and the cupboards and the presses all of the time.

Speaker 1:

Even without disordered eating, you have a very valid reason why you are doing it. Common issue number two is that your loved one keeps telling you to just cut back and eat healthier. So when I think of this example, I think of maybe a woman, and her spouse is always telling her why don't you just eat a bit healthier? Why don't you just cut back? And this may be reinforced by the fact that the woman is saying to herself and to her spouse that she would like to lose some weight. This is so common for someone to voice to their loved one that they would like to lose weight and their loved one responds with well, why don't you just cut back a little? Or why don't you just eat healthy.

Speaker 1:

Of course, when you struggle with binge eating, advice to just cut back and just eat healthy is bad advice in my books. If you are somebody who has never had a problem with food, who has been a natural and intuitive eater your whole life, if you've never dieted, if you've never felt you had to change your body, it's very easy to just give the advice of hey, why don't you just cut back or just eat a bit healthier. But from the perspective of somebody who is struggling with food and has struggled with food for a long time, has been on and off lots of diets, is always feeling compelled to lose weight then receiving the advice of just eat healthy and cut back a little is actually really harmful advice in my books, even though we should acknowledge that your loved one's heart is probably in the right place and you can probably understand why they're giving you this advice. Because you have told them that you would love to lose some weight and they can see that you're having some struggles around food. So for them telling you just cut back and try to eat healthy in their eyes, that is the best advice that they could give. So again, with this example, good communication is key. Have you considered sitting down with your loved one and talking through your issues with food? Maybe telling them that you are feeling like food is controlling you and being told that you should just cut back and just eat healthy is really way too simplistic for the problems that you are experiencing. You could tell them that you would find it so helpful if they could abstain from talking about your food or your weight and just letting you do your own thing.

Speaker 1:

I find especially in romantic relationships there can become this kind of tension. Say, if you are having a meal together and if you are splitting out the meal and your partner gets more than their fair portion or God forbid, they take some from your plate. You may respond to that with some kind of overt like what are you doing? Like this is my food, don't take my food, and they may laugh it off, or you might laugh it off, but for you that really does affect you and you may find that really frustrating when your loved one takes the food straight from your plate. I just want to acknowledge that if you have experienced that and you have gotten annoyed at how you reacted and you might wish that you could just be the kind of person who is just blasé around food and you don't mind if someone else takes more than their fair portion, and you definitely don't mind if your loved one takes a bit of food from your plate. It all comes with having a difficult relationship with food. It's something that will come as your relationship with food heals, but please don't beat yourself up about it. It's all ingrained in our psychology about food deprivation feeling like food is not going to be available. So when someone else takes food straight from your plate, you feel like you are missing out. You are going to be deprived.

Speaker 1:

The third common issue when you struggle with binge eating and you live with other people is that you may wish your family or your housemates would just go to bed so that you can binge eat. This thought can really mess with your head. On one side, you may be thankful that you are surrounded by people in your house, especially in the evening time, which is the time where most people say is difficult for them. So you may be grateful that you have people around you. Maybe you're all watching TV and they are protecting you from binge eating, because, as we know, binge eating doesn't usually happen with other people around. So on one side, you are grateful to have them, but on the other side there is that voice from your binge eating disorder saying I wish they would just go to bed so that I can binge.

Speaker 1:

In this situation, the first thing that comes to my mind is what is the rest of your day like? Are you spending all day with other people and have no time for yourself? So I'd invite you to just think about that for a little bit. How do you spend your days? Are you always with other people, or do you ever get some time to yourself? When I hear clients say that they can't wait for the house just to all go to bed so that they can have their binge in the evening time by themselves, maybe stick on a movie, scroll through your phone and just binge until their heart is content, my first question is is this the only time that you get to yourself in the day? Is this your precious, sacred time just for you and your food? And even though you know what it is a disordered eating behavior you actually really enjoy it and you really value that time to yourself in the evening? If this is you and I've just described your situation think about adding some extra time in your day just for you, not in the evening time, and I know that might be easier said than done, so forgive me for being very relaxed about it, but that might be the best place to start. For you is to pencil in some good quality time to give yourself some self care, whether that is watching a movie, or going your phone or read a book, or clean as you listen to podcasts, if that's what you like doing. Pencil in some time in your day just for you.

Speaker 1:

So those are three of the most common problems that I come across when someone who is struggling with binge eating also lives with somebody and has to navigate their relationship with food while also not jeopardizing the relationships with their loved ones around them. If there is one thing I'd like you to take away from today's podcast, it's this Communication really is the key here. If the person that you live with or if you live with multiple people choose one that you trust the most and consider informing them, letting them know about your struggles with food and you can use some of the language that I used in today's podcast, like I'm really struggling with disorder eating right now If you don't feel comfortable saying, hey, I binge eat every single night when you go to bed. That's okay. I understand that is such an ask to tell somebody, but it's okay to use language like I'm struggling with disorder eating. I'm struggling with my relationship with food. Food is feeling like it's controlling me instead of me controlling it, and I just need to work on that a little bit. So if you take away one thing today, it's communication can make your life a lot easier when you struggle with binge eating and you live with people. All right, I'm going to leave you there. Thank you so much for joining me again. As I said, come and say hi to me on Instagram. I'm at bingeeatingdit. I am going to leave you now with a 30 second review and I will see you in the next episode.

Speaker 1:

This week's review is another free resource which is amazing, and it is a podcast. It's called the how to make friends podcast by Gemma scopes. The how to make friends podcast breaks the taboo of loneliness and finding friends as an adult in today's world. Gemma focuses on why finding your self worth and becoming your own best friend is the very first step in making new friends as an adult. Check it out now. It's how to make friendscouk. Listen to this repost episode of the binge eating dietitian podcast.

Speaker 1:

If you didn't know already, I am taking some time away from the podcast in 2023 so I can focus on smashing binge eating in other ways.

Speaker 1:

I am doing a doctorate degree.

Speaker 1:

I'm doing a doctorate of education degree in the realm of binge eating.

Speaker 1:

As you can imagine, it's taking some of my time and attention away from other pursuits like the podcast. I am keeping in touch with you on my mailing list, though. If you go to the link in the show notes now, you'll see a link there that says get your binge free week checklist. When you sign up to get the checklist, you will be added to my mailing list and I'll keep you posted on how things are going over there. I am sharing all of old episodes because they are full of wisdom about binge eating that I know that you need to hear. Please keep listening and I'll chat to you soon over on my mailing list. Make sure you head to the link in the show notes now and sign up to get your free checklist to have a binge free week, and then you'll get my regular emails after that. Until then, please take care. It's for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice and it does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.